Heart ache is not exclusive to one side of argument. Everyone loses when there's an argument, anyone who thinks he is the only victim should think again.
Walls shouldn't exist between family members, relatives, or even friends. There is no reason for anyone to wear a mask everyday to please someone you love or care for, more so with family members. Same goes for the opposite, there shouldn't be barriers to voice out reasonable dissatisfaction or feelings. Showing disgruntled actions and behaviours to protest your heart ache does not solve problems. If anything, it only worsen the already sour relationship.
Talking is the best remedy.
Having so many true friends whom I can truly call my extended family has taught me how to take things easy and always count the blessings. There is no point expecting so much while never conveyed your intention and get disappointed every time it doesn't happen the way you want it. Everyone is different in this world, no two souls can live together and not have different opinions of any matters, so placing one's expectations on another without telling him/her is simply as bad as destroying a relationship.
I want to be a man. I'm tired of being treated like a girl/daughter/lady who is suppose to understand every single emotion or feelings a woman has. There is nothing more confusing and heart breaking than seeing someone I love protesting through actions, girlfriends alike.
It's tiring. I can't be myself anymore because I need to say things not from my heart. I can't say the right thing; I can't tell the truth because truth hurts; I can't say what's on my mind being afraid that it's not what others want to hear (and hence protest through actions); I can't be myself because it's not natural/jovial enough; I can't stop people I love from doing things because I care for them, afraid that it is just that they want to do.
I can feel painful stabs in my heart, but I know it's not exclusive to me, but also to the people I love whom I have hurt unintentionally/unknowingly.
I love you dad, mom, two sis and friends. Please have mercy on me, spare me from your emotional torture. Talk things through with me/the person whom you're dissatisfied with, keeping it to oneself is okay as long as you don't start torturing others with emotional protests. Talk things through, shout or cry if you need, just don't make me suffer by keeping me in the dark. I hate cold wars. I want to be myself.
Thank you.
